FAQ
Seeking medical care
Your health and safety matter, especially after you experience sexual assault.
The most common reason to seek medical care after an assault is for a SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) exam, also known as a Medical Forensic Exam (MFE) or “rape kit.” A SANE exam can be completed for any type of unwanted sexual contact. You can get a SANE exam even if you’re unsure about reporting, allowing you to decide later. If you decide not to report, you may still get the exam to address other health concerns or injuries you have following your assault.
If you need help navigating the SANE and hospital process, The Blue Bench can provide a Hospital Advocate to accompany you to the hospital. A Hospital Advocate can also help you understand your options and available resources.
Our Hospital Advocates can be contacted through our 24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline at 303-322-7273.
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While you can go any time after a sexual assault to receive medical care, sooner is better. SANE exams can be conducted up to 7 days after an assault, though evidence may be easier to collect within 72 hours after an assault. Remember that you can get a SANE exam even if you aren’t sure about reporting your assault. Evidence is stored, at minimum, for the statute of limitations of the crime, so you have time to decide.
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This is a medical examination to collect any potential evidence following a sexual assault. The average exam takes from 2 to 4 hours and includes five key components:
History (history of the assault and your own medical and sexual history)
Assessment of injuries
Forensic evidence collection
STD evaluation and prevention
Pregnancy risk evaluation and prevention
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At the time of the SANE exam, you’ll be able to report your assault in one of three ways:
An anonymous report that will keep all personal information from law enforcement—any evidence collected will be stored and not tested.
A medical-only report that would attach your name and contact information to the kit. You may choose to have the evidence tested and law enforcement may try contacting you afterwards.
A full law enforcement report that attaches the kit and any evidence collected to an active investigation.
The first two options require no police follow-up unless you choose it.
Anonymous and medical reports can always be changed to law enforcement reports after an exam.
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No. Survivors should never be charged for the cost of the exam. There may, however, be associated medical costs that are not considered part of the exam (imaging, medication, etc.).
Survivors who get a SANE exam may qualify for Crime Victims Compensation (CVC), which can help cover any associated medical costs. The Blue Bench Case Managers can explain the CVC process and help you submit a CVC application.
Was I sexually assaulted?
You might wonder if your experience “counts” as sexual assault. After experiencing some form of unwanted physical contact, many people ask themselves the same question. Was that actually sexual assault, or was it something else?
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The Blue Bench defines sexual assault as any sexual act that’s not consensual. There are three main considerations in determining whether a sexual act is consensual:
Are the participants old enough to consent? Each state sets an “age of consent,” which is the minimum age someone must be to have sex. People below this age are considered children and cannot legally agree to have sex. In other words, even if the child or teenager says yes, the law says no.
Do both people have the capacity to consent? States also define who has the mental and legal capacity to consent. Those with diminished capacity—for example, some people with disabilities, some older adults, and people who are too drunk, have been drugged, or are unconscious—may not have the legal ability to consent to sex.
Did both participants agree to take part? Did someone use “force” (direct force, a threat of force, coercion, or somehow take advantage of you) to make you have sexual contact with them? In order for sexual contact to be consensual, BOTH parties must provide explicit consent “with free will and with knowledge of the nature of the act.” This is true regardless of previous or current relationships or activities. Without mutual consent, it’s sexual assault.
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If you experienced a sexual action against your wishes or desires, we consider that sexual assault. It doesn’t matter if it was a friend, family member, romantic partner, teacher, coworker, neighbor, or stranger. It doesn’t matter if you’re not a woman, you didn’t physically resist, or it happened decades ago. You can still call it sexual assault.
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You aren’t alone. Nearly 3 in 4 assaults are by someone the victim knows.
Significant Other: Sexual assault can occur when the offender and the victim have a pre-existing relationship (sometimes called “date rape” or “acquaintance rape”), or even when the offender is the victim’s spouse. A pre-existing relationship, or a relationship in the past, does not equal consent. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex with this person in the past: if it is nonconsensual this time, it is sexual assault.
Family Member: If you experienced sexual assault as a child, we understand how challenging it can be to process those memories. The effects of sexual abuse can occur many years after it ended and can include self-blame, low self-esteem, and more. There is no right or wrong time to reach out for help. Our therapists are skilled in meeting adult survivors of sexual assault where they are and helping them to process this difficult trauma and work towards healing.
Friend/Coworker/Other: Sexual assault by a friend, acquaintance, coworker, etc. can be confusing and frustrating. Many survivors will blame themselves and feel unsure about how to identify the experience. Regardless of how well you know the person who assaulted you, if you feel uncomfortable about any type of sexual contact and did not provide your consent, the experience was sexual assault.
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In Colorado, 1 in 17 men will experience an attempted or completed sexual assault in their lifetime. You are not alone. Male survivors deserve to be believed and are just as worthy of help and healing. The Blue Bench is here to help survivors of all genders define their experiences on their own terms.
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People respond to an assault in different ways. Just because you didn’t resist physically doesn’t mean it wasn’t sexual assault. In many cases, survivors avoid further harm by not resisting. It’s a survival tactic—not a sign of consent.
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Physical force isn’t the only way to sexually assault someone. If you were coerced, intimidated, threatened, manipulated, tricked, or otherwise persuaded to do any sexual act against your will, it is considered sexual assault.
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“Rape drugs,” alcohol, and other substances can cause memory loss, as can the stress of a traumatic experience. Even if the details are hazy or you have gaps in your memory, you could still have experienced sexual assault.
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Whether you were drunk or sober, if you didn’t consent, it was sexual assault.
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Sexual assault can happen when the victim is unconscious or asleep. If you were asleep or unconscious, then you couldn’t consent, which makes it sexual assault.
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Your experience matters, regardless of when it happened. Sometimes it can take years to process a traumatic event or to be ready to take steps towards healing. Whether it happened yesterday or a decade ago, The Blue Bench is here to help you navigate your experience and choose the path forward that’s right for you.
Telling Someone I Know
Support is critical after experiencing sexual assault, but reaching out can be difficult.
It's scary to tell someone else about your sexual assault. Many survivors wonder if their loved ones will believe them or blame them. Will they be upset? Will it change the relationship?
If you need help deciding who to tell and what to say, The Blue Bench has you covered.
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No. Who you choose to tell is entirely up to you. However, when you confide in someone you trust, you can get support, reassurance, and a safe place to process your experience. If you aren’t ready to tell someone you know, you might want to talk to someone on our 24/7 confidential and anonymous hotline. Trained advocates can help you practice speaking about your experience and decide who you want to confide in, when, and how.
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You can start by telling the other person what you want from them in the conversation. Many people don’t know how to respond to disclosure of sexual assault, and may not give you the response you want. You could say something like, “I need to tell you something important. It’s tough to talk about, and there’s a lot I don’t want to share. I’d love for you to listen without asking questions.”
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You can say as much or as little as you want. You aren’t required to share any specific details about your experience, even if the other person asks.
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Ideally, you’ll find a time in which you have the other person’s undivided attention. If you need to, ask the person if you can plan to set aside time just for this conversation. Choose a setting that feels safe to you—whether it’s over the phone, at home, or with another trusted person.
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It's normal to worry about how someone in your life will react to learning about your assault. In the same way that survivors react differently, loved ones can have very different reactions, too, ranging from grief and guilt to shock and anger. Remember that it’s not your responsibility to manage their emotions. Be honest with this person about what you need and encourage them to seek support for themselves. The Blue Bench has resources explaining sexual assault and how loved ones can support survivors, and a workshop for loved ones of survivors so they can better understand what you’re going through and how to help you heal.
Reporting My Assault
Deciding whether to report sexual assault is a deeply personal choice. Survivors in Colorado have multiple options.
This can often be one of the most stressful decisions following a sexual assault. There may be people in your life who have strong opinions on reporting to law enforcement, but know that the choice is yours.
Survivors in Colorado can choose to receive medical care and have any evidence collected through a SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) exam. At the time of the exam, they can choose to make a formal law enforcement report, pursue anonymous reporting, or simply gather information without deciding right away. Learn more about different reporting options.
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Survivors who get a medical forensic exam can choose to report anonymously at the time of the exam. Anonymous reporting means that evidence collected during the exam is not stored or tested, and there is no identifying information linking back to you. If you decide to report anonymously, you can still choose to make a law enforcement report later.
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Yes. While a SANE exam can be helpful for collecting evidence, it can be a stressful and sometimes retraumatizing experience. It is always your choice whether a SANE exam is right for you. You can still report your assault without a SANE exam.
If it is still within the statute of limitations, you can make a report to the law enforcement agency of the city or town where the crime occurred whenever you decide. Case Managers at The Blue Bench can provide information on the reporting process and accompany you every step of the way.
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While our hotline and services are confidential, The Blue Bench therapy team and hotline staff are "mandatory reporters." This means that they are required to report a sexual assault if it falls under one of the following categories:
If there is child sexual abuse, physical abuse and/or neglect
If the client is in danger of hurting themselves (suicidal)
If the client is in danger of hurting someone else (homicidal)
If there is elder sexual abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse and/or caretaker neglect
If an assault does not fall under one of these categories, anything you disclose to The Blue Bench’s therapy team or hotline staff is confidential.
The Blue Bench Case Management team, Hospital Advocates, Resource Specialists, and Prevention and Education Specialists are confidential advocates and not mandatory reporters.
Not sure where to start? Start at The Blue Bench.
We offer many resources for survivors, including therapy, support groups, case management, and more.